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Portland State University

Confessed on April 19, 2014

“I had the worst self-cockblock of all time. So there was cardio bunny I bumped into in class last semester. We got talking about fitness as I recall she was quite sporty, I mention work out solo, she says I should go with her, for motivation and shit. I jump at chance. We go, and she asks what am I doing after this, I say might watch a movie; I’ve got a pirated copy of Avengers I’ve been meaning to watch. She says she has wanted to see that, I maintain my confidence and ask her to come, she accepts. Go to mine, I crack open some drinks, we are watching the movie and talking a bit. She is apparently a bit of a lightweight and the alcohol goes straight to her head, we get talking about sex. Oh god just typing this hurts. She mentions her ex never went down on her. I say ‘something along the lines of what an idiot’. She goes in for kiss, we kiss for about 5 seconds. She pulls away, then I for reasons unknown, I say ‘you know, I could give you the old lickaroo.’ The old lickaroo….. I said it jokey but there was no way that didn’t sound weird, I may have sort of winked a bit, oh god. She looks at me like I am a shoe sniffer and pulls away and said ‘err yeah just gonna go to the bathroom.’ This occurred roughly around when Hulk is smashing up the plane. She returns and I put my hand on her knee in an attempt to salvage. We make awkward small talk for what feels like an eternity, man this is a long film. When Hulk punches Thor I remove my hand from her. Eons pass and the film finally ends. I walk her to my door and go for a hug; she effectively pats me on the shoulder. I just go to lie in bed alone. The old fuckin lickaroo…”


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College of Southern Nevada

Confessed on April 8, 2014

I hate school, I only go because it’s the one thing I know how to do.


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Arizona State University

Confessed on April 8, 2014

I watched all of breaking bad in a month. I’ve been done with it for 2 months now and it’s still all I can talk about. It’s all that’s on my mind. Even when I go to parties that’s what I talk about. Help


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San Diego State University

Confessed on April 7, 2014

Caught my residents smoking so I joined in. I’m their RA.


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University of Miami

Confessed on April 6, 2014

“During my time here, it has occurred to me how important it is to have a plan after college. Most of us will settle for “I don’t know” or “Grad school.” “I don’t know,” especially for those of us not in a science, is a one-way ticket to professional stagnation. “Grad school,” while necessary for many, is an escape. It’s a cop-out for not having a real plan. Don’t think you have to go directly from school to the dream job. Wait tables, work on your skills/job apps/gigs/marketing/networking in your free time, and don’t lose sight of what you want to do. Don’t settle for “I don’t know.” Come up with something useful, however small.”


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Colorado University, Boulder

Confessed on April 6, 2014

“You’d think that, for the amount of money we pay to go to this school, we could get some washers and dryers in the residence halls that actually work.”


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Northwestern University

Confessed on April 6, 2014

“Two weeks ago, I had lunch with friends and they were talking about this girl who was complaining about how expensive sororities are. I am not in a sorority because of the cost. I don’t feel that I can relate to them anymore.”


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